Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Switching Glasses

I switched glasses with a colleague the other day. A new guy joined my team a few weeks ago. 'Bobby the kid' we call him because he has a baby face even though he's only a few months younger than me.....which isn't saying much because I still consider myself young and I feel young, but in no way do I feel like a 'kid'. In my heart I do because I consider myself to have a young spirit. Anywayyyyy......Bobby and I discovered that we both enjoy middle of the line sunglasses and we noticed one day that we both had similar but different pairs of RayBan WayFarers so he suggested we switch because he was looking for a fresh pair, a fresh feel, no I believe it was a 'fresh look' he said. His glasses seemed neat so we swapped for the fun of it. Why not share skin cells with a practical stranger? Sure sounds like a grand idea....! I really didn't think twice about it because it did sound fun for a couple weeks, even though Kel later pointed out that it was a pretty intimate thing to do. Meh. I was just trying to make the guy feel welcomed to the team/org.

For the first few days I wore Bobby's shades I felt like my degree of cool had gone up slightly because his glasses were a bit 'different' in that they had a clear frames - something totally different than what I would buy but I was ROCKIN them - and mine were more traditional with a tortoise frame, amber lenses. A couple weeks into the trade I realized that I wanted my sunglasses back. I liked those traditional frames. I liked the consistency and comfort of them and I liked knowing they were mine and that I had chosen them and bought them with my own money. I also liked knowing that it was my face oil, my skin cells that were on them and nobody elses.....until now.  In hindsight, I do not know why I switched because I am becoming quite a germ-a-phobe as I get older wiser.  Caught in the moment I guess.  Story of my life.  But today I would make the switch back with Bobby, hoping nothing had happened to my trusty old pair. 

Take this for what you will. Maybe I'm feeling emotional because Aunt Flow is in town, who knows. But this simple sunglasses swap helped to realize that sometimes, more often than not, it takes a new perspective to make you see that the grass is in fact very green on your side of the fence and to trust yourself in YOUR decisions, YOUR direction, YOUR choices. Because there are after all in fact YOURS and one of the only things somebody CANNOT take away from you, in 'Murica anyway. 

We are unique individuals as much as we are a primal, evolved species. Trust in yourself, have patience with yourself, listen to yourself. Only YOU knows what YOU truly wants.

MY sunglasses:



Bobby's sunglasses:


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Do You Miss It?

Last week I had one, no, make that two, encounters of, "Do you miss it?"  The first one was with a girlfriend/colleague from home and we were talking about work extra-curriculars and how I still felt very compelled to stay active and a part of the conversations for the local committee we had helped to build and cultivate back home.  After I apologized for chiming in about local-related items that I knew she had a handle o, but that I still felt drawn to contribute, she asked me, "Could it be that you are missing home?"  That question surprised me, truly.  Had me cock my head and scratch it and think to myself, "Is this why I'm still invested in this committee?"  Because I still wanted to feel like I had a place there like I was still a part of it?  I had, after all, helped to make it was today because I took ownership and because it matter to me.  People, culture, synergy, matters to me.  It's an important and integral part of life that I believe makes people, makes relationships, makes LIFE.  That was the first time "Do you miss it" came up.

Second time was after having had a talk with my Pops aka Padre aka Daddio during which he asks me, "Do you ever miss it?  Do you ever think, 'What have I done?'"  As if he knew exactly what had flickered through my mind during the third or so week I was here.  After the initial bliss had temporarily subsided and I was beginning to realize that I did not have Harper and her unconditional love to return home to and I that I could not just drive over to my folks for dinner, or that I could stop in at the restaurant where I worked at in Claremont for years, to visit my old cronies and local friends with their new babies, new homes, new lives.  That was a rough one.  I remember telling my sister that I felt that way, and she said, "You're beginning to miss home too, aren't you?"  Of course I missed it.  I lived in So Cal for nearly 30 years.  It is all I know.  How could I not miss it?  I am human.  I bleed.  I cry.  I cry a lot because I am a hyper-emotional and sensitive being.  But let me tell you, after a good cry, I always feel a rush of relief, and oh how my eyes sparkle!  Grandma Porbanic used to tell me I was washing my eyes clean with tears and that they would sparkle afterwards.  She also used to say that lying on our tummies when we had tummy aches would get the "bubbles" out.  These bubbles were farts as I came to better know them as later in life.  I digress......all the time.....

So sure, I miss Harper, I miss my family and the familiarity of my geo surroundings, I miss the control over my schedule and commuting in the freedom of driving - actually my car moreso as materialistic as that sounds.  I miss nature, both the surrounding organic beauty and the accessibility.  I miss being able to get together with my friends or family if something special came up (as in....LIFE).  But here and now in NYC, I wake up each day excited at the adventure that awaits me, because every day on the subway and in the city is truly an adventure.  How packed will the subway be?  What characters would I see on my route to and from work that day?  Would I get to see my magical stained glass water tower to the north up the east river that I spotted during one of my first subway rides to work?  Would the water glisten in the summer sun, would I exchange smiles with a fellow subway passenger, what street vendors would be out peddling their wares?  Would I get to see a personified Statue of Liberty figure on stilts today walking the streets of Manhattan?  What concerts in the park, networking mixers, NYC committees, organizations, would I discover today?  Would the rays of sunshine streak through the high rises and through my floor to ceiling windows at work?  What patterns would the dramatic eastern clouds form for me today?  Yes, for me.  Because the city, the noise, the lights and sounds, the overstimulating characteristics of this gorgeous place I now called home - is what you make of it and is everyone's own creation, own gift.  It is well time to forge new friendships, to stay in closer contact with my family and friends through hand written letters, google hangout sessions, emails, phone calls, care packages.  Time to take life by the horns and ride it into the sunset each and every day.  Time to adorn myself in new fashion, to create a new look for myself, a new persona maybe?  And maybe someday I will even get another Harper. <3